Heart Races
by FireStorm1991
Summary: Thanks to the peace between the three realms, Botan and Hiei find themselves residing in Human World. Polar opposites, the two deal with the twists and turns and bumps in the road in their relationship. Will they ever cross the finish line?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters.

Okay, so I had a poll (no, I didn't forget about it) about which non-canon couple story my readers would like to see. There was a tie after a couple of months between KuramaXBotan and HieiXBotan. Well, what I decided was to change the characters info of Pirates of Reikai to KuramaXBotan just because that's pretty much what that story is and now that it's summer, I will be getting back to it. So here's the winner, a HieiXBotan story. Enjoy! :D

* * *

Whoever thought that things could ever be so peaceful? Not even a year ago there was the threat of demons coming into Human World to destroy it. Yusuke was considered a threat; the barrier needed to stay up. Now, thanks to that "threat" demons and humans were getting along. Sure, humans didn't really know all that much about the demons coming into their world now that the barrier was down, but there was less bloodshed than there had been when the barrier was up.

So much so that there wasn't much that needed to be done with the spirit detectives. True, Yusuke had been fired, but he still did his part to keep the peace along with Kuwabara, Kurama, and surprisingly Hiei. Botan was still a ferry girl working in spirit world, but she visited Human World often. She couldn't stay away from her friends for too long and now that Koenma was in charge of spirit world affairs, things were more lax.

Speaking of lax, it was Friday. Botan usually left for Human World on Fridays. Sure, she'd love to go for more than just the weekends, but she had a duty and she wouldn't give up her job for anything or anyone.

"Botan, you're going to the temple soon, right?" Koenma asked.

"Yes, it's Friday," Botan said happily. Koenma smiled and handed Botan something, a piece of paper. "What's this?"

"Just read it," Koenma said lightheartedly.

Botan opened the paper and smiled at what she read.

_For over 500 years' worth of service, the ferry girl, Botan, will be granted one month of vacation time, in addition to weekends, every two months._

"Oh, Koenma sir, thank you!" Botan exclaimed, giving her boss a hug. "But won't you be short-handed."

Koenma waved her off. "Nah, besides with the reduced malicious demonic activity in Human World, death counts have been a lot lower. You and those boys helped with that. I say that deserves reward, wouldn't you agree."

"That's very generous of you, Koenma," Botan replied still not being able to stop smiling.

"Have a good time," Koenma told her before returning to his post.

* * *

"You sure you want to go back there?" Mukuro asked. "Last time we talked, you told me you wanted to stay in Demon World. You know, when I offered to make sure no one came looking for you."

"I told you that it's not why I stay," Hiei responded. "I didn't know what I wanted then."

"What do you want?" Mukuro inquired. "You aren't one to just decide things overnight."

Hiei nodded. He had been serving Mukuro for five years now and she knew him very well. She acted as his confidant and didn't judge him for any of his quick decisions. But like she said, he never made them overnight.

"I still don't want to tell her, but I don't want to be far from her either," Hiei admitted. The truth was he missed his little sister. He knew he would never be able to tell her the truth about himself, but being in Demon World, he couldn't insure that she was safe.

"I understand, Hiei," Mukuro told him. "I'll make the arrangements and you can leave tonight. Just make sure you don't slack off. I'd like to have a rematch one day."

Hiei smirked. "Count on it."

* * *

"So you can really stay for that long?" Yukina asked Botan after the ferry girl explained what Koenma had told her.

"Yes, it's true," Botan answered.

"Hn. Well, we better get a room ready for you then," Genkai said sounding uninterested, but actually letting a ghost of a smile appear on her face. She did like having Botan around the compound.

"We should celebrate," Yukina suggested. "The guys will be coming over later, so maybe a party?"

"I like the way you think, Yukina," Botan chimed. "We should start preparing."

"Okay, just one thing. I was going to go out to the herb garden to pick a few spices. Would you like to join me?"

"Oh Yukina, don't be silly. I can go on my own. It's the least I can do."

Yukina smiled and went into the kitchen to see what they had to cook for a party. Botan happily skipped out to the herb garden.

* * *

Hiei made it to the compound in record time. He really wanted to make sure his sister was okay. He saw her in the kitchen with a smile on her face making him smile slightly as well. It had been a year since he told her that her brother was dead and a year since she gave him their mother's hiruiseki stone, a year since he saw her.

Hiei heard footsteps heading his way, so he flitted up to the nearest tree and watched as the ferry girl who had always been around the group appeared in the herb garden. He had always found her irritating, especially her perky attitude and her tendency to blurt out information. He was thankful, though, that she hadn't blown his but he figured she was just afraid to have her tongue cut out. Hiei smirked at the thought of her fearing him. Then he got an idea.

Botan tensed when she felt a sword at her neck, but then relaxed. The only one who could move so quickly was a certain fire demon. Botan smiled and greeted the "attacker." "Hello, Hiei. It's been a while."

Hiei was shocked that she wasn't more terrified of having a sword to her throat. _This onna is crazy, _he thought. "Hn," he replied as he withdrew his sword.

Botan turned to face him and couldn't help but notice that he looked really good. She was surprised since he never seemed to take care of himself. "Well, you look well," she told him. "The last time I saw you was last year when we all met up here after the tournament. What are you doing here?"

"Hn. I don't have to answer to you," Hiei muttered bitterly.

"I bet you're here to see Yukina," Botan stated earning a glare from Hiei. "Oh, don't worry, Hiei; I haven't said anything. But just so you know, she does know."

"What?" Hiei growled quietly but menacingly.

Botan nodded. "She figured it out and asked me, but I didn't say anything and she took that as an answer. She's a smart girl, Hiei."

"Why wasn't I informed about this?" Hiei snapped.

"Yukina asked me not to tell you she knew," Botan said sadly. "She wanted you to tell her first. Oh and I just told you. Me and my big mouth."

Hiei had to admit that he was actually thankful for her big mouth now. "I'm still not saying anything and you won't either."

"But why?"

Hiei turned away from her but looked over his shoulder and said, "I have my reasons, onna." With that he disappeared into the tree.

* * *

A/N: Okay, so here's a random starting chapter. Everyone knows that with Hiei, relationship development takes ages XD I can't wait to see where this story goes and what ideas all of you might have. So drop a review here and there with some ideas. I always love hearing them.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters.

Hey everyone. A lot of people added this story to their favorites and I got some really nice reviews. I'm glad everyone liked the first chapter. I hope you all like this one as well.

* * *

Hiei still hadn't made his presence known to anyone at Genkai's compound. He did an excellent job of hiding his energy. Why was he hiding? Well, he didn't want to deal with his so-called "friends." If they knew he was back, they would make a big deal about it and Hiei didn't want that. His return was strictly for Yukina and to make sure she was safe. With how often Kuwabara had shown up to accost his sister, he wasn't entirely sure about her safety.

Botan remained the only one aware of Hiei's return and she always managed to sneak food outside to him. Sure, she would never see him take it. She would hardly see him at all. The fact that the food always disappeared with the dishes returned reassured Botan to Hiei's health and she let it go. Meanwhile, Hiei was still confused as to why she would continuously sneak food out to him.

Yukina wasn't the only blue-haired female he would watch. Botan seemed to be living with Yukina and Genkai for reasons which were unclear to Hiei. She disappeared for two months, but returned every weekend, and now she was back to being there every day. Hiei didn't know what to make of it. He was the only one that was clueless about Botan's reward.

* * *

"So, Botan," Keiko stated one day, "you've been living in the Human World a lot more and I was wondering if you've been thinking about settling here."

Hiei was resting in a tree above the girls as they had their little "chat." He was mostly there because Yukina was.

"I haven't really considered it," Botan said placing a finger thoughtfully to her chin. "I guess I would if I was to find someone here, but that's silly. No, I'm perfectly happy just visiting when Koenma gives me the time."

"What makes you think you won't find anybody?" Yukina asked. "I have." Hiei nearly fell out of the tree at that moment. Yukina just smiled at her friends. "Kazuma makes me very happy."

"Aw, well that's sweet Yukina," Botan responded, "but I just haven't found that special someone yet."

"I'm sure, whoever it is, is lurking around somewhere," Keiko joked.

Botan blushed a bit and Hiei had chosen that moment to look at her. "W-What?" Botan nearly shrieked. "Oh Keiko, don't be silly. Why would my perfect guy be anywhere near here?" After letting out a nervous chuckle, Botan escaped into the safety of the compound.

Keiko looked over to a shocked Yukina. "Was it something I said?" Keiko asked.

Yukina shrugged. "She seems to get like that often. Almost like how she was during the Dark Tournament whenever she tried to mention Hiei."

Keiko sighed. "I take it you haven't seen him since he lied to you and told you that your brother was dead, huh?"

Yukina shook her head. "No, but I do miss him. I wish he would just tell me the truth. I wouldn't be angry with him for lying to me."

Keiko tensed a bit thinking back to the past and how she had met Hiei. "Listen Yukina," she said gently. "He's done a lot of stuff he isn't proud of, from what Yusuke has told me. He probably doesn't want you to get the wrong idea about him."

"I know," Yukina whispered. Her sadness was replaced with a small smile. "I'm going to go check on Botan. Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Actually, I have plans with my parents tonight, but maybe tomorrow, okay?" Keiko suggested.

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

Hiei watched as the two girls went their separate ways. He didn't know what to take from any of the conversations he had overheard. First, Botan was acting like her strange self. Hiei had never noticed her different moods before, but now that his sister had pointed out her strange behavior, he took notice to it.

Then the conversation his sister had with Keiko, it meant more people knew. Most likely everyone knew. Well, Kuwabara couldn't know or else he'd be steering clear of Yukina, right? If more people knew, did that mean that Botan knew who knew? She should have told him. The thought enraged Hiei and he stormed off to Botan's room. He looked in the window and saw her burying her head in her pillows.

_You're such an idiot, Botan, _Hiei heard her tell herself. _You almost spilled._

Of course, Hiei thought she meant that she almost slipped on his secret, but she was actually thinking about her own hidden feelings for the fire demon. She didn't want anyone to know. They hadn't really had the best relationship in the past, especially when he threatened her. Anyone would think she was crazy if she told them that she was thinking of Hiei in a different sense just from being the only one who knew he was there and bringing him food. Even she thought she was crazy for that one.

"You're just being silly," Botan said out loud to herself. "Oh wonderful, now I'm talking to myself. I really have gone crazy."

Hiei raised his brow in curiosity. Maybe there was something going on with the ferry girl and now she was spouting out nonsense. _Strange being_, he thought to himself.

"Botan?"

Botan turned around to see Yukina gaping at her. "Oh, hi Yukina. I didn't hear you come in."

"Botan, is everything alright?" Yukina asked with the utmost concern.

"Of course everything is fine," Botan tried to say convincingly.

"It's my brother, isn't it?" Yukina asked.

Botan froze and looked panicked. "Y-Yukina, I have no idea what you are-"

"You like him, don't you?"

Both Botan's and Hiei's eyes nearly bugged when Yukina asked her question. Hiei figured she had to be joking, just because there was no way the idiotic ferry girl could have feelings for him, a cold-blooded killer.

"Where did you get a silly idea like that Yukina?" Botan said unconvincingly.

"Well, for one, you've said silly about three times in one conversation, and two you're very nervous. Besides, you're acting how you did during the Dark Tournament whenever Hiei was mentioned."

Botan giggled nervously, not wanting to tell Yukina that Hiei was actually threatening her all those times to keep her quiet. "But that doesn't mean-"

"And you were the only one who attempted to defend him against Kazuma when he was saying those mean things about him," Yukina pointed out.

"Well yes, but I-"

"And Keiko was talking about someone lurking around," Yukina continued. She sighed. "I know Hiei is here, Botan. I noticed that you've been sneaking food out somewhere, so I just assumed. I think you like him."

Botan just laughed it off. "Oh Yukina, I think you've spending too much time watching the television with Genkai. Besides," she said with a sad smile, "even if I did like Hiei, nothing would happen between us. We're too different."

"Opposites attract," Yukina replied. "I mean, look at our parents, fire and ice. They couldn't be more different, but it worked. It was the koorime that got in the way of everything."

Botan nodded sadly. "Anyway, I need to get some work done," she lied.

"Yeah, I need to start cooking," Yukina responded back. Neither girl wanted to finish the conversation.

When Yukina was out of earshot, Botan whispered, "Note to self, never go to the ice world."

Hiei was seeing a lot of exchanges that he wasn't quite sure of. All he really got out of today was that Yukina knew, everyone else seemed to know, the ferry girl was losing her mind, and she might also like him even though he hated her. So many questions ran through Hiei's head, but instead of focusing on them, he decided to go hunt down his next meal in Genkai's forest. He smirked as he drew his sword and got ready for the hunt.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters

This chapter is dedicated to Just 2 Dream of You, my newest buddy :D

* * *

Hiei was frustrated. It had been another two months, again except for weekends, where the ferry girl had disappeared. He didn't know why it bothered him so much. He hated her cheery, peppy attitude. Hiei couldn't help but compare her to one of those little dogs that had the high-pitched bark and always wagged their tails. She was just too happy, and Hiei didn't like being around someone like that.

So why, when she was gone and he was at peace, did he notice her absence? It gave him more time to hunt in Genkai's forest instead of finding food left out for him. Hiei smirked just as he thought of eating the raw flesh of his kills. What? He was a demon and had those animalistic urges at times. That couldn't be held against him.

But that was the thing; no one would hold anything against him, except for himself. Hiei's expression darkened as he remembered trying to get himself killed to avoid a life of senseless killing. His eyes widened when he remembered what pushed him to that. He was training, hunting demons in Mukuro's forest, and he realized that his life had no meaning. He looked around himself from his tree. For the first time in six months, he had that feeling again.

Maybe that was why he was so frustrated, not because the ferry girl wasn't around. He was going to have to keep an eye in his emotions just to be sure. He needed to know.

Just then, he heard her incessant chattering out of nowhere and growled. _Damn, it's true, _he thought. _If you think about them too much, they show up. Pity…_

But even though he thought that way, his body was saying something different. After the two months since she had disappeared again, he felt at ease. It shocked him, but he shrugged it off as a return to normalcy. Maybe he just didn't like change and he grew accustomed to her presence in his life. Yeah, that had to be it.

"Oh Botan," Yukina said happily, "you're back!"

Botan giggled. "Yup, finally. Although, I'm never gone for too long."

Yukina frowned at that. "Botan, isn't it tiring to keep making the trip between Human and Spirit World?"

Botan sighed and nodded. It did take a toll on her making the trip so often. The portals were just weird. But truth be told, it was worth the trip to be able to spend time with her friends and see Hiei. Over the last two months, she realized that it wasn't the same without having him threaten her every day. He always met her when she brought him food, but he was always trying to scare her. It seemed to be a game to him, and the only time Botan ever saw him genuinely smile.

"It's worth the trip, Yukina," Botan replied.

Yukina smiled. "I know, but couldn't you ask Koenma for more time…or to, I don't know…live here?"

Botan's eyes widened at Yukina's suggestion, but she covered her shock with a laugh. "Oh, Yukina, don't be silly. I have duties in Spirit World that I must attend to. I can't do that from Human World."

"Well, if you're sure…" Yukina replied.

Botan laughed nervously and then told Yukina she was going to take a walk. She left the house and ran into Kurama.

"Oh, hey Kurama," Botan greeted. But Kurama didn't greet her back. He just looked at her sadly.

"Why haven't you told Yukina yet?" he asked. Hiei was nearby and the questioning piqued his interest. He remained hidden as he listened in on the conversation.

"Oh Kurama, I have no idea what you're taking about," Botan replied but Kurama held up his hand to tell her not to lie to him. Botan sighed. "I don't want her or Keiko to know that I'm bound to Spirit World. Unless I find a mate to settle down with, Koenma would never hear it AND it would have to be with someone connected to Spirit World that has SPRITUAL energy."

"As in not a demon," Kurama pressed.

Botan sighed again and looked up to the sky. "Yeah," she responded with sadness. "Instead he gave me that deal to come on weekends and a month every two months. If it weren't for that, I would probably never see any of you again since Yusuke isn't a spirit detective anymore."

Hiei's eyes widened. So that was what was going on. He may not have liked her happy attitude, but even Hiei didn't know what he would do if he never saw her again. She was too amusing to mess with. She brought him food and kept his being there a secret, as much as she could. Hiei was starting to think, other than from what he heard in her conversation with his sister, that she cared for him. It was a strange sensation, to think about not being able to see someone who cared about you, well, forever.

"If you hadn't made the suggestion to Koenma about the weekends, I wouldn't even have this offer," Botan said to the fox demon thankfully.

"You were clearly miserable," Kurama reminded her. "Every time Koenma called me in for information, I would find you crying somewhere. Then you would light up when you saw me, just because I'm part of your life here. Besides, we all missed you very much." Botan smiled to him before he continued. "And I knew you would want to see Hiei again."

Botan panicked for a moment. She didn't know if Hiei was nearby or not. Hiei could tell she was looking for him, but kept himself hidden. He wanted to hear what she had to say in response to the fox's statement.

"Am I really that transparent?" Botan asked.

Kurama chuckled. "Maybe not to everyone, but Yukina can tell since she knows how to read others well, especially when it comes to Hiei. As for me, I'm over a thousand years old. I've picked up on mannerisms. I wouldn't have been able to be the Legendary Thief King without being able to dissect a situation."

Botan couldn't help but laugh with him. "I really wish I could tell him," Botan revealed.

"Why don't you?" Kurama questioned.

Botan just him a look that asked if her were crazy. Kurama chuckled as Botan said, "Are we talking about the same Hiei? He hates me, although we have had some fun before when he attempts to frighten me. But even if he didn't hate me…it's, well, not permitted."

Kurama's eyebrows scrunched together. "What?" he asked in surprise. He knew that Botan couldn't separate from Spirit World completely, but he wasn't aware that it was completely forbidden for her to be with a demon. "I thought Koenma overturned all of his father's rules against demons."

"All except for that one," Botan explained. "Or else he'd probably lose all of us ferry girls to Demon or Human World. We cannot be with demons or humans, unless the humans have spiritual energy. That's how it is. And I'm the chief ferry girl, so I'm held to those standards. I'm lucky to even have this time off. Kurama, I don't know what to do. I'm torn between my job and a guy I can't tell my feelings to. Maybe I should just go back to weekends to see you guys and give up on Hiei."

Hiei felt a little hurt and shocked by what Botan had said. He felt rejected and like she was judging him. Yes, he hated her, but he didn't despise her (to him there was a difference). Sure, he didn't think he liked her that way, but as soon as she said she wanted to give up, something nearly broke inside of him. He couldn't explain it.

"Why?" Kurama inquired.

"Because," Botan said, "he could never return my feelings and even if he did, I can't be with him. It wouldn't be fair to either of us."

"So you want to return to Spirit World and be miserable for the rest of your existence?" Kurama pressed a little forcefully.

"I don't know!" Botan shouted. She ended up starting to run back into the temple.

"Where are you going?" Kurama asked in concern.

"Leave me alone!" Botan shouted through her tears. She didn't want to talk about this anymore, yet every time she returned to Human World, someone brought it up.

Hiei came out from where he was hiding and Kurama spotted him. He didn't seem too fazed that Hiei had been there. "How much did you hear?" he asked.

"All of it," Hiei replied stoically while crossing his arms.

"Well?"

Hiei smirked and acted arrogant to hide his hurt. "She's right. I do not feel the way she does."

Kurama frowned at him. "I know for a fact that you are lying, and even though you are trying to play it off, you better not say that to her and break her heart. Then she'll definitely never return and we won't get to see her again. Just remember that Yukina wants her here too."

"Hn. Whatever. I won't crush the little ferry girl's spirit, although her peppy attitude makes me nauseous. It would take her down a few pegs at least."

"I'm serious, Hiei," Kurama said a little more darkly, some of Youko's nature coming out. "I see that girl as my own sister and if you hurt her or prevent us from seeing her, then you will pay."

Hiei was a little surprised that Kurama felt a type of sibling bond with Botan, but he didn't care. He didn't plan on saying what he told to Kurama to her anyways. He just didn't want to admit that there was the possibility that he could actually like the ferry girl. That would be too complicated.

* * *

A/N: Well, another small progression for Hiei…I'm so tired of dragging it out, but like I said before, I am trying my best to keep him in character. But he will be OOC when he finally admits his feelings…Hiei + Romance = OOC XD


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters.

* * *

Botan woke up the next morning feeling incredibly exhausted. All of the emotional drama she had to deal with was getting to her. It was getting to be too hard, especially after what she told Kurama the evening before. She had even skipped dinner because she had no desire to eat. Even now, she still wasn't hungry. Now she knew what it meant to be depressed.

She wanted to stay, and not for just those two months at a time. Her friends were here, and they had become her family. She didn't know how some humans did it. Occasionally seeing one's family seemed so difficult to her. She would never be able to do it like Kuwabara did while he was at college. Sure he could visit a lot, but not every day. When she had to return to Spirit World, the weekends couldn't come fast enough. The weeks were always agonizing.

After pitying herself for an hour, she finally decided to get out of bed and start her day. She was a little surprised to see a few pieces of fruit on the windowsill. Yukina and Genkai wouldn't have left her fruit outside at her window, so there was only one person it could be. Butterflies flew in her stomach at the thought of Hiei leaving her food. _Think nothing of it, onna, _Hiei growled in her head. _I did it so that to return what you have done for me so I don't have to hear anyone bitch about it._

Botan smiled when she heard his voice. She knew for a fact that no one knew he was here. Yukina suspected it; maybe Kurama did too; but she was the only one who truly knew. _Thank you, _she thought back to him. She giggled when he heard him growl in her head again.

* * *

Botan felt a little lighter after getting the fruit. It wasn't the most filling thing now that her appetite returned. She ended up going into the kitchen and making herself some breakfast. When she was done eating, she decided to bring some out to Hiei. She hadn't realized that Yukina had seen her leave the kitchen with bowls of food.

"Onna, what the hell is this?" Hiei snapped when she brought him the food.

"Oh hush, Hiei," she said in a cheery voice. "I wanted to thank you for the fruit. It means a lot to me."

He cast her a wary glance before saying, "Not hungry."

Botan laughed. "Oh Hiei, my cooking isn't that bad."

Hiei looked at her skeptically before looking away from her and closing her eyes. "I don't need it. I'd rather hunt in Genkai's forest."

"Always the warrior," Botan said happily. She closed her eyes and rested against the tree as Hiei stared down at her in shock. She saw him as a warrior? True, he fought, but there was a difference between being a fighter and being a warrior. Being a warrior meant that the individual had honor and was respected, but that couldn't be. She must not have known the difference.

"I'm a fighter," Hiei stated. He waited to see what she would say.

"You are clearly more advanced than an ordinary fighter, Hiei," Botan stated. _That's something I love about you._

Hiei began to grow nervous hearing her positive thoughts and comments. The ferry girl couldn't ever truly love him. No one could.

"Clearly your stupidity outweighs your cheeriness," he said nonchalantly.

Botan's face fell at his insult. Normally she would shrug it off, but after last night, she was a little more sensitive. Hiei's heart clenched when he saw her fragile spirit break. He hadn't meant to upset her…Enma forbid it if he ever told her he didn't have feelings for her. But wait, if he didn't have feelings for her, why would he feel guilty for causing her pain?

"I'll just leave the food here in case you get hungry," Botan said, her voice cracking. She muttered a curse at her own reaction and then ran back to the temple.

Hiei felt the need to go after her, but he couldn't bring himself to move from his tree.

"That was a little uncalled for," he heard Yukina say. He looked down to his sister in shock. How long had she been there? "Botan was just trying to be nice."

Hiei didn't say anything. He just sighed and looked back up to the sky. "She's too damn sensitive," Hiei said in his defense.

Yukina flashed him a sad smile. "Why don't you go talk to her?" she asked.

"There's nothing to say," Hiei answered.

Yukina sighed and said, "There never is with you, is there?"

"What are you talking about?" Hiei said pretending that he didn't know what she was talking about.

"Oh, Hiei," Yukina sighed. "What did they do to you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Hiei admitted. He honestly had no idea who the 'they' was.

"Our people," Yukina said hesitantly. When she saw Hiei's expression become blank and when he still hadn't said anything, Yukina went on. "I don't know what happened to you after what happened, but please don't close yourself off to everyone because of what our people did."

"Yukina," Hiei said with a slight warning in his tone.

"Did you know I knew?" Yukina pressed gently. The guilt in his eyes was the only answer she needed. "Just, go talk to her. You'll regret it if you don't."

Yukina walked back towards Genkai's temple leaving Hiei alone to think. He certainly hadn't pictured that if he ever pictured either of them confronting each other. She didn't try to force him to admit it; she just told him that she knew. She gave him advice signifying that she wasn't going to turn her back on him. No, he hadn't pictured that.

But what she said about Botan…would he truly regret it? If Botan were to leave now and never return, could he live with it? _No, _he decided as he flitted his way to the temple. He went to the room Botan was staying it, but she was not in it. He used his energy to try to locate her, but he couldn't find her. _Onna?_ he tried to call in her mind. No answer.

Just then Yukina rushed into the room with a paper in her hand and tears threatening to fall. "Yukina, what's wrong?" Hiei asked while gently grabbing her arm, attempting to comfort his sister.

"She's gone," Yukina whispered. Hiei's eyes widened. There was no way that one insult chased her away, nor was there any way she could get back to Spirit World so quickly. And even if she did, she would be back. She would get over his insult and then come back. But before that, Hiei knew he was going to have to deal with hurting Botan, his sister, and angering the fox demon that had threatened him the day before.

"She'll be back," Hiei said, although his voice sounded more like a plea. "She has to come back."

Yukina shook her head and put the note down before casting her brother a sad glance and leaving the room. Hiei decided to look at the note and nearly gasped at what he read.

_To all my friends,_

_I've had a great time with you all, but I think it's time for me to take my job a little more seriously. Those souls aren't going to ferry themselves. The trip has become too daunting and I just can't bear it anymore. I'm going to stay in Spirit World for a while instead of coming to visit. I don't know if or when I'll come back to visit. This might be goodbye for good. Please, take care of yourselves._

_Botan_

Hiei tossed the note across the room. Reading it had left a bitter taste in his mouth. She couldn't mean it. There was no way she would abandon everyone she cherished just because he called her stupid. He had called her that so many times. She had never seemed insulted by it before. Hiei shook his head trying to rid himself of this feeling. It was like how he felt with Yukina, only it felt worse. At least he stayed a part of Yukina's life, in a way. But with Botan…he single-handedly chased out the one female who could feel so strongly for him.

* * *

He left Genkai's compound and went back into the woods to kill something, anything. When he entered, he sensed nothing and began to randomly attack the trees, just to let out his anger. He didn't even sense Kurama before he rammed into him. Hiei gasped for air and looked up at Kurama like a deer caught in the headlights. Kurama was about to make good on his threat, but stopped when it seemed like Hiei was zoned out and hyperventilating. Kurama's expression softened slightly, pitying his friend. He tried to help Hiei up, but the fire demon still hadn't registered his presence.

"Hiei," Kurama called gently. He received no response. "Hiei, look at me. What happened?"

"She called me a warrior," Hiei stated, still not truly registering that Kurama was there. "I'm not honorable enough to be a warrior…I chased her away." Kurama shook his head at his friend. Botan had given him a compliment, but he thought too little of himself to accept it and wanted her to take it back. "Kur…ama?"

"What?" Kurama asked with a slight snap.

"I do not know what this feeling is that I am feeling," Hiei admitted in his hazy state.

Kurama frowned at the fire demon. "It's called guilt, Hiei. You'll be feeling that for a while."

Hiei closed his eyes in response. Kurama really didn't want to leave him so vulnerable in the middle of Genkai's forest, but Hiei refused to let him help him up. "Leave me," Hiei growled.

Kurama sighed and began to walk away. He paused before saying, "Only you can fix this." Then he left Hiei to brood in his guilt. He had been right; Hiei definitely had feelings for Botan.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters.

I got lots of reviews, and also an anonymous review from heartluv. Thanks for reviewing to all of you :)

* * *

"Botan," Koenma called to his chief ferry girl. "Are you okay?" A month had gone by since she had returned to tell him that she would no longer be visiting Human World. Koenma had no idea what happened and he was starting to get frustrated. Botan was making too many mistakes in her grief, for whatever it was. If it continued, he would be forced to either demote her or fire her. The only way to fire her was to force her spirit to pass on. As her friend, he did not want to go to that extreme; as her ruler, he knew he might not have a choice. He needed to know why she was acting the way she was.

"Oh, good morning, Koenma-sama," Botan greeted, her voice sounding dead and faded. Her usual cheeriness and upbeat attitude no longer existed. "I am fine."

Koenma knew she was lying and motioned for her to join him in his office. "What happened back in Human World?" he asked.

"Nothing," Botan lied again.

"Don't lie to me, Botan," Koenma ordered. "Your life may depend on it."

"I know," Botan replied sadly. Then she shrugged. "It is what it is."

Botan stood up and left Koenma shocked. _What the hell happened to her?_

* * *

Hiei had happened to her, and he too was grief-stricken, although it was due to his guilt. He hadn't left the ferry girl's room since that day. Yukina would bring him food, but most of the time, he just incinerated it. Only when he felt on the brink of death would he eat what she brought him. He believed he deserved to suffer the misery his guilt was causing.

Yukina and Kurama would try to talk to him, but he would never acknowledge their presence. He was too busy being trapped in his own thoughts. How could he have done what he did? Why didn't go after her? It was too late now. She was back in Spirit World, and even if he went there, she would hate him. He knew she would. Everyone else in all three worlds seemed too, all except for Yukina who was incapable of hate.

Out of nowhere, Hiei shot up as he sensed a familiar, spirit energy. _What is the brat doing here? _he asked himself. After a month, he decided to move from that spot, just in case he had news on Botan.

* * *

"Koenma, what are you doing here?" Kurama asked seriously.

"What happened here with Botan?" Koenma said to start his interrogation. "She has been an emotional wreck and been making too many mistakes for chief ferry girl."

"I cannot say," Kurama stated, knowing Botan would get in trouble for loving a demon.

Koenma narrowed his eyes at Kurama. "You don't understand the severity," Koenma growled. "If Botan keeps up this bad streak, I will either have to demote her or force her spirit to pass on."

"What?" Kurama said, his calm façade leaving him. He then narrowed his eyes at Koenma. "You can't do that."

"I may have to," Koenma replied. "If I demote her and she continues making mistakes, then she will be of no use to Spirit World. We cannot afford to keep her if this continues."

"Then allow her to live here, with us," Kurama forcefully suggested.

Koenma shook his head. "There are laws, Kurama," Koenma explained. "I cannot do that."

"She's your friend!" Kurama shouted.

"I know!" Koenma yelled back.

There was a deafening silence before the two heard a slam of a door. It caused Koenma to jump, but Kurama didn't seem fazed.

"What the hell was that?" Koenma asked.

Kurama didn't answer. _He heard…_

* * *

Hiei leaned against the door and then slid to the ground. He felt like he was gasping for breath, but he didn't know why. This guilt emotion was certainly a powerful one. _They're going to kill her, _he said in his mind. He repeated it a few more times before he told himself that it should have been him. _I shouldn't have survived. This wouldn't be happening. She would be safe. She's so innocent and kindhearted. I hurt her. I don't deserve to live let alone her love._

Kurama didn't know Hiei was leaning against the door when he opened it swiftly. He knew once he saw Hiei on his hands and knees trying to shake off the feeling of getting the wind knocked out of him. "Hiei?"

"Didn't you say that if I had hurt her or prevented any of you from seeing her, you would make me pay?" Hiei asked in a strained voice. He turned to glare at Kurama defiantly. "Then what am I still doing here?"

"What?" Kurama questioned hesitantly. Hiei couldn't be asking him to inflict pain upon him.

"Do it," Hiei ordered. "I deserve it."

Kurama frowned. He couldn't help but agree that Hiei was at fault, and yes, he had wanted to hurt him at first. But Hiei was his friend, and so was Botan; and they were both miserable.

"No," Kurama replied. "You don't deserve it. You are in pain as well."

"Guilt is a crappy emotion," Hiei stated. "I can't make it go away."

Kurama sighed and sat down in a chair in the room. "You are not just feeling guilt, Hiei." Hiei looked at him in confusion, silently asking him to continue. "You are feeling heartache. You care about Botan more than you admit, and that is hurting both you and her."

Hiei shook his head. "I don't care…" Then he changed his answer. "I shouldn't care. She shouldn't care. I don't deserve it." _I shouldn't even exist._

"Why do you keep saying that, Hiei?" Kurama asked. "You have been making up for your past crimes for a while now. You are a noble fighter with an honor code. Why can't you admit that you deserve someone like her in your life? Why can't you admit that you need your own sister just as much as she needs you?" When Hiei didn't answer any of the fox demon's questions, Kurama continued his questioning. "Did something happen that we don't know about, a crime that Spirit World knows nothing about?"

"Yes," Hiei answered, looking down to a blank spot on the floor.

"If you are talking about Botan, you can still go talk to her and make things right before Koenma makes his decision," Kurama suggested.

"Not that," Hiei stated. He was thinking of the crime the ice maidens placed on him, being born. Then Hiei shook his head. "It's not important. And I cannot go and talk to her. I'm sure she hates me."

"You are an idiot," Kurama stated. Hiei's eyes widened and he gasped. He looked over to the fox demon whom had already left the room.

Hiei stayed in his defenseless, all-fours position on the floor. He couldn't help but wonder if Kurama's suggestion would help the situation. What if he said something to Botan that she took the wrong way again? If he saw that look of hopelessness in her again, he didn't think he could take it. But, wasn't it worth a try, to try to fix his wrongdoing.

_Yes._

* * *

It had been a while since he had been in the halls of Spirit World, since he had been sentenced to "community service" for stealing the artifacts. He decided to make a stop in Koenma's office and ask him where Botan was. He was having trouble sensing her spirit energy.

When he entered the office, he observed Koenma actually reading through the paperwork he was given and stamping only a few while trashing others. It seemed like he was finally taking his job seriously and stamping only the important requests.

"Hn, I see you're finally doing your job," Hiei stated making Koenma jump.

Koenma stared blankly at the fire demon standing in his office. Hiei hadn't been back in Spirit World for years. It was definitely a surprise. "Hiei?" Koenma greeted in a questioning voice. Then he cleared his throat and regained his composure. "What can I help you with?"

Hiei hesitated and looked away. "Tell me where to find the ferry girl."

Koenma's eyes widened. "I'm not sure if that is a good idea. You two have never seemed to get along."

Hiei glared to the prince, no king, of Spirit World. "Just tell me!"

Koenma sighed. "Fine. Down the hall and to the left. Her name's on the door."

"Hn," Hiei replied before flitting off to the room.

* * *

He didn't knock; it wasn't in his nature to show common courtesy. He just needed to do this and hope that he could make things right. He didn't want Botan to disappear forever.

"Koenma, sir, you need to stop checking on me," Botan called when she heard her door open. "I'm fine."

"No," Hiei stated making Botan jump, "you are not fine."

Botan gasped and sat up to face him. Drying her tears, she stared at the fire demon questioningly. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

Hiei tensed, hand still on the doorknob. He felt like he had been right. She did not want to see him. He could not fix things with her. He decided to try a different approach to what he had planned. "You are needed in Human World," Hiei told her. "The others miss your presence."

Botan sniffled a little bit. She looked so much like a hurt, innocent child. He did that. "What about you?" she asked him through her tears.

Hiei had not expected that question. He figured she no longer cared about him, so why would she ask such a question? He looked away from her, someone would guess in shame, but in reality he was getting shy, too shy to answer her question.

"I have noticed that you are not there to annoy me as usual," Hiei finally responded. "I do not like change."

Botan's expression became blank with confusion, but she had said nothing. Hiei took that as his answer and was about to leave feeling dejected. Out of nowhere, he heard her start to laugh and froze in his place. He nearly had the wind knocked out of him as she tackled him to the ground.

"Oh Hiei, I knew you couldn't hate me," she said happily with tears falling. "I just knew it."

If there was one thing Hiei hated, it was seeing a woman cry. It reminded him too much of the danger Yukina had been placed in. He took his hand and gently wiped her tears away, mentally berating himself, yet telling himself he was doing for his own benefit more than hers. When he saw Botan's confused look, he said, "Don't cry over something so pointless. Completely contradicts your nature."

And that made Botan smile, and because of that, Hiei felt a little better about chasing her off.

"Alright," Botan replied wiping away the rest of her tears. "I'll go let Koenma know and I will come this weekend like always."

Hiei hesitated. He didn't know if she was just coming for the weekend or making up for two months she did not spend at the compound. Botan noticed that Hiei was deep in thought and then it hit her like a ton of bricks. "I could always go back with you tonight. I mean, Koenma kind of owes me two months of vacation."

Hiei flashed her an emotionless glance and nodded. He held his hand out to her, to offer to help her up after she knocked them down. Botan blushed and looked away from his hand and him, but Hiei saw the red dusting across her cheeks. Neither of them moved, so Hiei just decided to take her hand. They both felt a spark of energy between them. Botan looked over to Hiei, slightly alarmed, but relaxed when he didn't look worried. Instead he just looked confused, maybe a little lost.

Botan smiled at him again and said, "I'm ready to go home now." Hiei just looked to her smiling face, and let out a breath he hadn't even realized he had been holding. He never thought he'd see that smile again.

* * *

A/N: I was planning on making this whole chapter depressing and placing their meeting in the next chapter, but after reading so many depressing Hiei/ Hiei X Botan stories, I needed fluff, and I'm sure you all did too XD So there you have it.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters.

I wasn't going to start on the next chapter now, but middlekertz gave me an idea and I got all excited and had to get up to that point :D I hope you enjoy this.

* * *

When Botan showed up at Genkai's compound, everyone felt relieved. No one, except for Kurama and Yukina, knew the reason she came back. They hadn't known what had been said, but they knew Hiei had to have gone to Botan and apologized…or what comes close to apologizing.

Botan was her usual cheery self, and the melancholy feeling that had surrounded Genkai's temple was gone, but mostly because Hiei wasn't brooding in Botan's room anymore. No one had told Botan about his presence in her room, but she knew just as soon as she found a picture of hers missing from her dresser. It was of both her and Yukina, but she assumed that Hiei only took it because of Yukina. She didn't know that it had something to do with her too.

* * *

Hiei sat in a tree and stared at the photo in his hand. He was confused at the foreign emotion he was feeling when he saw this picture of his sister and the ferry girl both happy and laughing. It was clear that Yukina felt close to Botan. Hiei didn't understand why he felt the need to be close to her too.

Everything was strange for Hiei right now. His sister knew the truth, though Kuwabara was still being kept out of the loop. They would tell him soon, but they wanted Hiei to get used to the idea of sticking around first. They were all afraid he'd take off if Kuwabara flipped out on him. But Hiei didn't plan on leaving anytime soon. He kept quiet about his intentions, however, because that just meant more peace for him before the idiot found out.

He focused back on the picture. How was it possible for him, a fire demon bent on destruction, to feel calm and peaceful just by looking at a picture of his sister and a girl he wasn't really sure if he hated anymore? An unusual warmth flooded his chest as he let out a contented sigh.

He froze with his eyes wide when he heard the sound. He was never content; it was against his nature and he felt he didn't deserve it. Yes, since the secret came out and he spoke to the ferry girl, he felt like a different person. He had already been protective of Yukina, but he felt a similar feeling for Botan. Shaking his head, he put the photograph back in his cloak and rested his head against his hands. He didn't want to think about it now. Emotions confused him and were definitely not his strong suit, so he was done thinking about them for the day.

* * *

The next morning, Hiei was woken up by the sound of glass smashing, a scream, and his sister crying out Botan's name. He didn't have time to register anything except for the need to defend. His speed allowed him to appear in the kitchen seconds later. Nothing seemed amiss except for a broken teapot and Botan on the ground grasping her foot.

"What the hell happened in here?" Hiei growled slightly, ready to attack whatever caused the girls to scream out.

Yukina frowned sadly at her brother. He always seemed to assume that they were all under attack. She looked back to Botan and said, "I'll go get some warm water and soap. Don't do anything."

"Alright, Yukina," Botan said with a smile. "I'll wait right here."

Yukina smiled and left the room, and Botan looked to Hiei apologetically. "I'm sorry I worried you. Nothing happened. I'm just clumsy. I dropped the teapot and stepped on a piece of glass. That's all."

Hiei let out what sounded like a frustrated breath, but in reality he felt relieved that she was all right. "You are clumsy," Hiei agreed. He didn't like Botan frowning at him, but he ignored it. Instead he got down next to her and forcibly took her foot. Botan let out a small yelp, but let Hiei continue whatever he was doing.

"This will hurt," he told her. Before she could respond, he yanked the piece of glass out and quickly replaced the wound with his hand, warming up the cut to slow down the blood loss until Yukina returned or the ferry girl healed it herself.

Botan had cried out as the glass was pulled out, but relaxed when she felt the warm sensation of Hiei's hand. She looked over to him thankfully, but he was not looking back at her. He was concentrating his energy on her cut. It was so warm that Botan found herself drowning in it, relaxing as she laid her head against the cabinet behind her.

Hiei looked up to see if her expression reflected pain, but was surprised to see her with her eyes closed and her guard down. She was in such a vulnerable position and he grew worried. Surely she wouldn't give anyone, let alone him, the power to harm her. He had already come to terms with the fact that he would not hurt her, but she couldn't know that. Hiei had never given her a reason to believe he wouldn't harm her. How could she be so calm around him?

Yukina returned with the bowl of soapy water and a cloth. She smiled at her brother who was studying Botan, seemingly perplexed by something. She walked over to the two, making sure to avoid the glass, and knelt down. Hiei was brought back to reality by his sister's hand on his shoulder. He looked to her and then back to Botan, carefully removing his hand from her foot.

Yukina worked on healing the wound and washing the blood off of Botan's foot with the cloth before taking her brother's hand and cleaning off the blood. Hiei wasn't used to anyone being so gentle with him, but it made him feel another emotion he was unsure of. He was…happy…that there were no hard feelings between them because of his lie. Yukina never brought up the lie again, even when he had returned her hiruiseki stone. She just continued to treat him like a brother, with a kind and gentle respect.

"I think you made her feel too relaxed, Hiei," Yukina said with a faint smile. "Could you bring her back to her room?"

"Hn," Hiei replied with a nod. Yukina just kissed his cheek and moved to get a broom and dustpan to clean the glass.

Hiei brought Botan to her room and placed her on her bed. Botan really did look relaxed. He brushed a loose strand of hair from her face and she nuzzled into his hand. He quickly pulled away after feeling that same spark he felt when he took her hand in Spirit World. _What are you doing to me? _he thought to himself. He knew he wouldn't get an answer now, but he hoped to understand it better soon.

* * *

Later that night, Hiei was dismayed that there was a small party at Genkai's. He didn't know why the old woman constantly let everyone in and out of her temple, but it was not really his business to know.

He remained outside resting against a tree. Crowds, even small crowds, frustrated Hiei and with Kuwabara there, he did not want to be a part of their festivities. It was much more peaceful for him outside, away from everyone.

He sensed someone coming, but kept his eyes closed. He heard the sound of a dish being placed in front of him and cracked his eye open. He closed it again and asked, "What do you want, ferry girl?"

Botan smiled at him and said, "Well, I just thought you might be hungry. And I also wanted to thank you for earlier."

Hiei opened both his eyes this time. "No big deal," he said with a shrug.

"Do you…want to come inside?" Botan asked. "For the party, I mean." Hiei just shot her a glare and shook his head. "Oh, I see. I just thought that, with it getting cold and all, you would want to come in a warm up."

Hiei snorted at her comment. "I'm a fire demon," he reminded her. "It's fine."

Botan didn't know why she wanted him to come to the party, but she really did want him there and decided to take matters into her own hands. While Hiei wasn't paying attention, she grabbed his arm and tried to pull him from his spot. He hadn't expected it, so he was pulled to his feet.

"What the hell are you doing?" he snapped at her while trying to resist.

"Just come to the party," she said in a cheery voice. "We're having so much fun."

"I'd rather cut my own eyes out with my sword than go in there," Hiei growled as he attempted to pull away from her without injuring her.

"Oh, don't be silly, Hiei," Botan said as she started to drag him along with her. However, she tripped backwards on a log and pulled Hiei down with her, their bodies crashing into one another.

Both hers and Hiei's eyes widened as their lips met. They were lying on the ground, Hiei on top of Botan with his arms at either side of her and hers stretched out, just staring into each other's confused faces. Neither pulled apart nor did they kiss each other back; they simply stared attempting to reign in their own thoughts and emotions.

Botan couldn't believe this was happening, however accidental it was. She always imagined this feeling, but she couldn't bring herself to kiss Hiei back when he looked like a dear caught in a headlight. Hiei was going through some inner turmoil. Firstly, this couldn't be happening. He had already admitted that he cared about the ferry girl, but he refused to admit that it was anything more than that. And now…now so many issues and memories were cycling in his mind. This was not okay, especially when she was a pure ferry girl and he was a dangerous imiko. But if he felt that way, why couldn't he pull away? They heard the door to the temple slam shut and gasped as they pulled apart from each other.

Hiei didn't know what to say or do. Botan noted the fearful look on his face before he sprinted away. She wasn't insulted, though. His face clearly told her what just happened. It was both hers and Hiei's first kiss, and it was definitely unexpected.

"Botan, what are you doing out here? It's cold out," Kuwabara said making Botan jump. She looked over to him and saw a cell phone in his hand. Apparently he had come outside to make a phone call.

"Nothing," Botan replied hastily. "Just admiring the night sky."

Kuwabara just stared at her strangely. "You're weird, Botan."

Botan just laughed at his statement and watched him go back inside. She moved to sit against the tree Hiei was leaning against earlier and waited. She couldn't even begin to understand what had just happened. All she knew was that she felt something. No, it wasn't the fireworks everyone always talked about. It felt more like a kindling flame, and it felt wonderful. She knew she was in trouble now.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters.

* * *

Hiei hadn't come around the temple for a while. It bothered Botan greatly, but she knew that it wasn't all about her. Their accidental kiss was shocking and she did expect him to react negatively to it, but two weeks was long enough. He couldn't truly have hated her that much that one accidental kiss would send him running. She knew he hadn't gone back to Demon World because Kurama and Yusuke said they still sensed his energy. That only left one place for him…the forest.

That had to be where he was. He wasn't coming for food anymore, so he had to be getting it from somewhere. Botan stood up, deciding that she would go and confront him. She waited patiently and now she didn't have any, especially when she was leaving the next day for Spirit World.

Botan sighed. How could a job she used to love be causing her to be so torn now? Maybe if Koenma had lost all the laws about who a ferry girl could be with it would be easier. She really didn't want to return to Spirit World when she knew her heart was here with her friends, her family. If only she could convince Koenma to let her stay longer.

But she couldn't think of that now. She needed to go find Hiei in the forest. Leaving the compound undetected was not a problem for her, but when Botan stopped in front of the forest, she tensed as if someone was watching her. She quickly looked around, but continued when she saw no one.

* * *

The deeper she went into the woods, the more she felt like someone was stalking her, and it wasn't a good feeling. She knew it couldn't be Hiei because she never felt this nervous around him, but she didn't know who it could be.

"Well, well," Botan heard making her jump. She turned around and saw a bat demon hanging upside-down in a tree. "Looks like a little lost human."

"Um…uh," Botan said in worry. "Oh, I'm not a human." But the bat demon didn't seem to care as he crept closer to the reaper who was backing away. She was stopped when her back hit a tree. She closed her eyes and was about to cry out when the bat demon shrieked out in pain. Slowly she opened her eyes and saw Hiei beating the bat demon. When the thing was incapacitated, Hiei finally stopped hitting it.

"Hn, weakling," he muttered as he shook the blood off his fist. He looked over to Botan, slightly furious that she was there. "What the hell were you thinking coming into the forest?" he asked her darkly.

"I was looking for you," Botan replied calmly. "I thought we should talk about what happened…before I go back to Spirit World tomorrow."

"You're an idiot," he said to her, but she didn't take offense this time because she noticed that he was blushing. "You could have been killed, coming into a dangerous place to talk about an insignificant moment."

"Oh, I see. Well, it wasn't insignificant to me," Botan told him causing Hiei to scoff. She could tell that he was still blushing, though, which meant that the kiss wasn't nothing to him. It did mean something. "Well, then I guess I'll leave you now. I need to get ready to go back to Spirit World anyway."

She began to walk away when Hiei asked, "Why do you keep going back there?" He sounded both confused and disgusted, as if he knew something he shouldn't.

Botan turned to face him. "Hiei, it's my job. I'm Koenma's chief ferry girl. It's not something I can just quit."

"The trip is too much for you," Hiei stated. "Eventually you are going to drop dead from making that trip so many times."

Botan frowned, shirking a little bit. "But I'm not ready to leave everyone behind."

"Then…just stay," Hiei said as if it were the most obvious choice in the world.

"I can't," Botan replied with sadness. "Oh, Hiei…if I could, I would. I…I should go now."

Before she could leave, Hiei grabbed her wrist. She stared at the fire demon in shock and saw that he was clearly confused by his own actions. He reluctantly let her wrist go before flitting off in the opposite direction. "Strange…" Botan said. "Very strange."

* * *

A/N: Sorry for shortness. I just didn't know what to write for this. I really just wanted them to "talk" about the accidental kiss, even though I planned on it not yielding any results.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters.

And here is a new update, and I've pretty much been foreshadowing to this point.

* * *

Hiei had been frustrated, and anyone who had been around him knew why. They didn't know the full extent of the situation, but it was obvious it had something to do with Botan.

It had come out, much to Hiei's dismay, that he was hanging around Genkai's and Yukina's brother. The others had already known, but Kuwabara was finally in the loop. Now Hiei had the misfortune of listening to Kuwabara griping incessantly about how cruel and heartless he was for lying to Yukina for this long. Hiei didn't disagree with him; he was just tired of hearing it.

Everyone avoided mentioning Botan around him now, though. Any time she was brought up, Hiei would end up snapping at them (except Yukina), disappearing for the rest of the day, and then returning later with many cuts and scrapes that could have appeared to be self-inflicted. No one could say for sure whether the fire demon was hurting himself or getting attacked by the weaker demons of Genkai's forest, but that just posed a new question. If the wounds weren't self-inflicted, how would weak demons be able to get ahold of Hiei unless he allowed it?

It was strange, especially since Botan hadn't been back for almost three months. She hadn't even come on the weekends. Everyone was worried about her and often wondered why she stopped visiting again. On the most recent day, of course, Kuwabara said his wonderings out loud. This resulted in him narrowly dodging a sword and flame, as well as Hiei's abrupt disappearance.

* * *

Now, the first time Hiei ran off he hadn't meant to get himself caught. He had obviously allowed his emotions to run wild instead of keeping them contained inside of himself as he usually did. He could have fought back. The creature would have been killed instantly, but for some reason Hiei didn't want that. The minor pain he felt from being attacked was refreshing, in a sense. The fire demon finally felt like he was getting what he deserved. It was a means of repentance, for being born, becoming a thief, and for causing all of the women in his life pain; and he welcomed it.

Today was no different in his mind. He had obviously hurt Botan again with his words and now she wasn't coming at all. Every time he thought of her, he grew angry with himself, but not because of whatever connection he seemed to have with her.

He was angry because he couldn't figure out what he was doing wrong anymore. The last time he saw her he had expressed concern for her health, so he didn't understand what chased her off. The only thing he could think of was how he had shut down the moment she mentioned their accidental kiss. He still did not want to discuss it, but that was how he was. Feeling any form of closeness with a person was what Hiei feared most. Hiei knew that Botan was more like the humans than anything else, and that she would expect that closeness from him. He didn't know how to be that way, even for her. She deserved better than an imiko meant to die anyway.

Hiei was about to return to the glorious torment of the forest, but was stopped when his eyes caught sight of something blue. He froze, slightly panicked when he saw Botan's body lying on the ground. She wasn't moving; her energy was fluctuating rapidly; her breathing was just as rapid. The girl had already lost consciousness. Hiei had no idea how long she had been there. Obviously she had just appeared today, but why after so long? And why was she passed out on the ground…or worse?

Hiei finally forced himself to walk over to her, now understanding what human's meant by "having an out-of-body experience." He knelt down on the ground, checking her pulse. It was slow and weak, but still there. Letting out a breath of relief, he picked her up as gently as he could and raced back inside. Kurama would know what to do.

* * *

To say everyone was shocked when Hiei entered the temple with an injured Botan was an understatement. Kuwabara misread the situation entirely and accused Hiei of having something to do with it. Hiei wasn't paying attention to the accusations, only looking over to Kurama clearly panicked and worried.

The fox demon nodded at Hiei and said, "Bring her into her room. I'll be there in a moment."

Hiei, surprisingly, did as he was told and left the others to talk.

"What did the shrimp do to her?" Kuwabara asked. "I mean, I knew he was mad at her for something, but seriously-"

"He didn't do anything to her," Yusuke muttered. He turned to Kurama. "You want me to call Koenma, right?"

Kurama nodded. "Yes, I'm sure he knows something regarding Botan's condition. I already have a hunch, but I need confirmation. Yukina, I may need your help."

"Of course," Yukina replied, following Kurama to Botan's room.

Kuwabara looked over to Yusuke who was glaring at his compact. "Urameshi, what's going on? If Hiei didn't do anything to her, who did?"

"You mean what did," Yusuke corrected him. "Those damn Spirit World portals."

* * *

Kurama and Yukina saw Hiei sitting at Botan's bedside on a chair, not taking his eyes off of her. His brow was furrowed in concern. He obviously wasn't trying to hide what he was feeling right now.

Yukina forced herself not to look at Botan. She knew if she saw the condition her friend was in, she would break down into tears. Besides, right now her brother needed her, so she did the only thing she could do.

Hiei tensed when he felt his sister's arms grab him from behind, but relaxed as she nuzzled against his back. He put on of his hands on her joined ones in silent thanks. She was trying to comfort him, and he was grateful that she was offering.

Kurama took out some herbs that he was going to give to Botan to stop the random energy fluctuations. He had been worried that this might happen eventually; however, Botan must have done a good job of hiding the signs from him is she was already like this from the interdimensional travel. He needed to know if Koenma had known anything about her condition and if it was the reason she had stayed away for so long.

Yusuke knocked on the post of the door looking inside Botan's room. Kurama looked to him for the answer. Yusuke nodded and Kurama scowled.

"He said he knew about this," Yusuke reported. Yukina and Kurama looked to him to continue. Hiei did not even respond to anything going on. "He said that when she came back, she passed out from exhaustion. They forced her to stop ferrying for a while, but no one was really enforcing it, and being as stubborn as she is, she continued to ferry until she collapsed again. That was two months ago. She was borderline comatose for the last two. When she woke up, apparently there was no one watching her. He said they've been searching for her all day. She must have come straight here as soon as she woke up and couldn't handle it."

"I…" Hiei tried to speak. The three looked to the concerned fire demon waiting for him to continue. "I told her that if she didn't stop going between worlds, she was going to end up dropping dead. I…asked her to stay here, and not go back. Why didn't she listen?"

"You knew?" Kurama asked surprised. Hiei nodded solemnly.

"Koenma isn't going to force her to go back, is he?" Yukina asked, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

"That's the thing," Yusuke started. "He does want her back, but she clearly can't handle dimensional travel. It put way to much stress on her body. I told him that he couldn't send anyone to get her. That kind of irritated him, but he said he understands. He's giving her a year off, tops. With the whole comatose thing and being laid up for so long, I tried to tell him it's going to take longer, but he didn't listen, so…"

Kurama's expression darkened as he nodded. "So, if she isn't healed before the year is up, we're going to guard her with everything we have," he finished.

Hiei felt Yukina tense when Kurama made his declaration and gently rubbed her hand with his thumb. He couldn't say that he was displeased with the idea of going against his former employer. Hell, he had always wanted to give the toddler prince a run for his money ever since his first crime against Spirit World. Hiei shook his head, reminding himself of why he hated Spirit World in the first place. They were incompetent and they proved that by not keeping a closer eye on Botan. Hiei finally understood. He hadn't chased her away. She obviously wanted to come back if she was lying there now. It wasn't his fault that she was gone; it was their fault that she was sick, and he was not going to let her go back there without a fight.

* * *

Kurama and Yukina finished up healing Botan as best as they could given the circumstances. The two plus Yusuke decided to leave Hiei alone with her. He had barely moved an inch the entire time they were in there, his eyes never leaving her unconscious form. Other than when he was explaining what happened to them, Hiei hadn't even uttered a word. Yusuke and Kurama at least expected him to say something when they announced that they would go to war with Spirit World to protect their friend. Surprisingly, he gave no response.

Later, after hearing the news, Kuwabara made his way to Botan's room. He nudged the open door so that he could look into the room. He saw Hiei sitting, unmoving, on a chair next to Botan's bed. He had never seen Hiei look so…lost…before. It made him feel guilty for the remarks he made earlier.

"Um, Hiei?" Kuwabara called out. Hiei didn't look at him and didn't respond. Kuwabara's hand found the way to the back of his neck. He rubbed it sheepishly before entering the room. He stopped behind Hiei, who still wasn't responding to his presence. "Look, Hiei…I wanted to apologize for accusing you of anything earlier. It wasn't right." Hiei still didn't answer and Kuwabara was getting frustrated. "Look punk," he snapped. "I'm trying to apologize to you. The least you can do is answer me."

Hiei didn't move, but he did respond. "I don't need your apologies," he said in an eerily calm voice. "I don't care that you accused me of anything. Now leave me alone."

It wasn't what Kuwabara had been expecting, but it was enough. He decided to continue discussing the reason he came into the room. "Urameshi told me that you tried to convince Botan to stay." He paused and waited for Hiei to respond. When he didn't, he continued. "I was kind of shocked 'cause I always thought you hated her." Still nothing. "But then I remembered seeing her outside that night of the party. I was surprised since it was so cold, but I guess she had gone outside to see you. You know, since you've been around this whole time."

"What are you getting at?" Hiei finally responded with a slightly venomous tone.

"I'm just saying it's kind of strange," Kuwabara answered casually. "I mean, for someone who seems to hate her, you sure can tolerate her. What happened that night, Hiei?"

Hiei finally tore his eyes away from Botan long enough to glare hatefully at Kuwabara. "Get…out," he bit out darkly.

Kuwabara sighed and took his turn to watch Botan. "It didn't click," he pressed on. "Every time we mentioned her, you'd disappear and come back injured. What were you doing to yourself out there?"

"It's none of your business," Hiei hissed. "Now get out!"

Kuwabara held his hands up in defense. "Fine, fine, I'm going, but I have to say this…if something is going on with you two, you better figure it out quick, especially if we're going to end up going against Koenma. Anyway, can you at least TRY to get some rest?"

"Hn," Hiei grumbled as he crossed his arms and looked away from Kuwabara. The human just stared at Hiei before quietly leaving the room.

Hiei knew he was brooding again, but dealing with Kuwabara was so infuriating on a good day. This was definitely not a good day. He still couldn't believe that Botan came back despite being so weakened from crossing the portal. It was so risky. "Why?" he whispered looking back over to her. "Why didn't you just stay? I told you…I told you this would happen."

He wasn't expecting a response back, so when he heard a weak, "I know," he nearly launched out of the chair. He uncrossed his arms and looked back towards the bed only for his eyes to meet hers. She looked so frail, even awake, but Hiei still let out another sigh of relief.

"You're awake," he stated trying to hide his shock. Botan smiled slightly and weakly nodded. "Did the fox's plants work?" (Translation: Are you feeling any better?)

"I'm okay," Botan replied. She cringed when Hiei narrowed his eyes at her. "W-what?"

"You aren't 'okay,'" he said. "You nearly got yourself killed just to come back here. Why didn't you just call the detective and tell him why you've been gone? You didn't have to put yourself in even more danger to-"

"I missed you," Botan interrupted him. Hiei's angered expression softened before turning into one of shock. He tried to answer her, but no words came out, so Botan continued. "I…I didn't want you to worry, or think it was like last time." When Hiei didn't respond to that, Botan frowned. "You did blame yourself, didn't you?"

"It doesn't matter," Hiei countered. "What's done is done. Koenma's giving you a year off." Botan's face lit up when he said this. "But if you aren't healed by then, we may have to fight him off."

Botan then frowned again and gasped. "W-why?" she asked.

Hiei shook his head. "You really are an idiot sometimes," he said lacking any of his usually snappiness. "If you aren't healed by then, he's planning to bring you back by force because he needs, as you put it, his 'chief ferry girl.' Do you honestly think you can handle any more of that portal travel before you're fully healed? And do you honestly think that after this has happened he'll ever let you come back?"

Botan looked away from him. "I hadn't really thought of that. No…I don't think he'd let me come back."

"You're…a part of our…team," Hiei stated hesitantly. "We won't let him take that away."

"I see," Botan said with a sigh before yawning. Hiei stood up and got her a blanket. He put it on top of her. "Hiei?"

"Sh," he hushed her. "Get some rest. I'll let the others know that you woke up."

Botan nodded and closed her eyes again. She still wanted to talk to him, but with a full year off, they had plenty of time to talk later. Hiei stood there a few extra minutes before exiting the room. He closed the door quietly and let out another breath of relief. He leaned against the door, gently bumping his head against it before sliding down into a sitting position. The only words that were running through his head: _This is a mess._


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters.

Sorry it has taken me forever to update my stories. The surgery I was supposed to get got cancelled on account of the food poisoning, so I was more active this break than I had planned XD Anyways, I will try to get everything I can updated while focusing on a select few of my stories in attempts to get them out of the way…yeah, whoever thought it'd be a good idea to have 30 in-progress stories was crazy…I have so many ideas and not enough time to write. But the show must go on, and the babble must cease. Enjoy!

* * *

A week had passed since Hiei had found Botan outside and brought her in for healing. She was now able to sit up with minimal help to eat. The ferry girl hated that Kurama demanded she stay bed ridden for now. In her human form, she understood that staying bedridden meant she would need to do so many exercises to even be able to walk around the house, let alone go out into the world she loved so much.

Currently, she was sitting by the window. She had asked Yukina to help her get there. She was in a lavender robe that was keeping her warm in the colder weather. It was the transition phase between fall and winter. Botan really wanted to be able to go outside to feel the breeze she loved so much.

"You should get back in bed."

Botan turned and saw Kurama standing in the doorway with some tea and chicken and rice. She smiled to him, the fox demon that deemed himself her brother and protector. "I know, but I hate being in bed all day. It makes me feel lazy."

"Well, seeing as you overdid it, you need to feel lazy for once, so that you don't overdo it again," Kurama stated monotonously. Botan frowned knowing that he was still sore from her keeping her troubles a secret from him.

"Kurama…it wasn't that I didn't want to tell you," she started. "It's so much more complicated. You know of my feelings for Hiei." Kurama just paused from setting the food on the night table by her bed and looked to her fallen form. "Well, I can't explain it, but they are more than just feelings now. If Koenma had found out, he would have forbade me from returning, but I couldn't just quit being a ferry girl either, or else I will be of no use to Spirit World…and they well…don't keep useless spirits around. I would have never seen any of you again. I needed to go between worlds to see all of you, and then return to my duties. Seeing you all was enough for me."

Kurama walked over to her and was able to fit on her windowsill with her. He pulled her into a hug and stroked her hair. "You took a great risk," Kurama told her as she started to shake from crying. "I think you have done enough for Spirit World, Botan. You deserve to live normally. I see how you longingly look at all the humans and their families. Spirit World is broken, in the sense that they feel all worlds must be separate, but all of the worlds are the same. Now that the barrier between Human World and Demon World is gone, things have been more peaceful. The only animosity any of us hold, human or demon, is with Spirit World because they choose to stay separate. If they would only let go, then these grievances and hardships would not be as drastic. And Koenma should accept the fact that you have a heart that did not die when you had in the past, and that it chooses to love someone in desperate need. I think you would be good for Hiei."

Botan, still with a few tears streaming down her face, smiled up at Kurama. "Do you really believe that?" she asked hopefully.

He nodded once and said, "I do." Then he motioned back to the bed and Botan sighed in frustration making the fox demon smile. "The sooner you allow yourself rest, the sooner you will heal."

"Have you ever been laid up for a week?" she asked him. He shook his head. "I'm going stir crazy in here."

"I will take that into consideration, Botan," Kurama said calmly. "Right now, doctor's orders."

Botan sighed and reluctantly let him help her into bed. "Oh fine, but please get me SOMETHING to do. I was not meant to be trapped doing nothing for hours at a time."

"Dually noted," Kurama said with a sincere smile as he closed her door. He turned around to leave the hall but saw Hiei standing directly in front of him with a bored expression on his face. "Hello, Hiei," he greeted.

"Hn," Hiei retorted. "You are too observant for you own good, fox."

Kurama smirked as Hiei pushed past him to get to Botan's room.

* * *

Hiei opened the door, walking into the room without removing his hand from the knob. His hardened eyes met Botan's soft and confused orbs. He couldn't blame her for being shocked. Over the last few days, Hiei had stayed away from her. No doubt she would take it as angry actions towards her, but really he just wanted to let her rest and let Kurama and Yukina work with her. He would have just been in the way, and he did not want his presence to harm the ferry girl worse than she already was.

The fire demon grabbed the chair from the desk and dragged it over to the bed facing it to the wall. Botan watched as he sat down facing her placing his arms on the back like an armrest. He seemed to be acting a little more casual around Botan, though he would never expect her to notice. She did notice, however, that he seemed more relaxed. She observed his features and found this laid back pose to suit him very well. She couldn't help but feel even more love and attraction for the fire demon. It was the side of him that not many would ever see.

"Hi," she greeted quietly.

Hiei didn't respond; he just stared at her intensely, making Botan feel like she was being scrutinized. That was what Hiei was doing, but for a different reason than Botan was thinking. She still looked incredibly pale and sickly. Her hair was a little ragged and her eyes were tired with bags under them. Her whole being screamed exhaustion, yet the ferry girl would not go to sleep. He knew she hadn't been sleeping well, and he was determined to find out why.

"You look drained," Hiei told her. "I could sense your weakness from here."

Botan frowned at Hiei. "Well, we already knew I was weak, didn't we?" she said bitterly, not liking the fact that she had been insulted.

Hiei smirked at her. He hadn't meant to insult her, just point out that she needed more rest. "You are weak now, but you are not weak," Hiei corrected her. "If you were weak, that dimensional travel would have killed you sooner, though I'm surprised with your stupidity that it didn't."

Botan smiled even though he insulted her. Hiei wasn't one to give compliments and when he did, it was usually paired with an insult. The ferry girl knew how to pick his statements apart, and knew that despite the insults, he was impressed with her. "Well, I had something important to get back to," she stated. Once it was out in the open, though, Hiei became serious again.

He had no idea what to say. He didn't deem himself important, yet she risked her life to return to him. It was something he couldn't fathom. "Why?" he caught himself asking, silently cursing himself.

Botan looked like she was thinking about something, debating with herself. She truly was debating on whether she should tell Hiei the full extent of her feelings or if she should just say something more minor. She really didn't want to downplay her feelings, especially because she would only confuse Hiei more, but if she were to tell him and he was to reject her, she didn't think she'd be able to survive another day like this. _Well, it's either him or me, _she thought to herself, knowing the direction she was about to take.

"Hiei, you are important to me," she told him. "I feel so strongly for you and wanted to see you. You could…never be happy staying away from the people you love, and that's how I, you know, feel about you. It was more painful to stay away from here. Not seeing you every day…it caused me more pain than that dimensional warp. I needed to come back because if I were going to suffer through this, I'd rather be with the man I love that in Spirit World rotting away in a room."

Hiei's eyes widened, but not from her confession, as he had already expected. He was more stunned at the way the ferry girl, the purest ferry girl he knew, could talk so bitterly about Spirit World. It made Hiei wondered what she had to go through in that wretched world. As a demon, Hiei of course was against Spirit World and all it had stood for, with his detest of demons like him; but for a ferry girl to have issues with the world… Hiei shook his head. Whatever they were doing there, it was obvious Botan did not want to go back, and Hiei did not want to let her.

Hiei stood up and moved to the side of the bed, watching Botan as she watched him sit down curiously. He did not understand the ferry girl's feelings and how no idea to return them, but he knew one thing. Botan was important to him, for some strange reason, and even though she looked so rundown and sickly, she was beautiful to him.

Sucking in a nervous breath of air, Hiei awkwardly placed his hand on top of hers. "I…I am glad you got out of that hellhole," he said quietly, looking away from her.

To his surprise, he was pulled into Botan. Having not been expecting being pulled, or even Botan to have regained as much strength as she had, Hiei was easily pulled into her grasp. His face displayed nothing but confusion at this odd gesture he knew to be a hug. It was something he had never experienced before save once by Mukuro, even as a baby as he was viciously ripped from his mother's arms. He wanted to push away from her, to get out of this warm hold she had over him, but his body was refusing to listen to his mind.

Then he felt her body shake. He looked up to see her face and saw that her eyes were closed tightly, both because she was in pain and because she was forcing herself not to cry in front of him. Not wanting to see her in distress, Hiei took his hand and ran it through her hair. Botan's eyes snapped opened as she looked at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, letting go of Hiei. The fire demon felt a sense of loss when she pulled away from him. "I know you're not one for physical contact, except for maybe a fight." Botan giggled at her own joke while Hiei's expression softened. "I just…I missed you."

Hiei nodded to Botan and began to get off of the bed, but she grabbed his wrist to stop him. He flashed her a look of mild annoyance. He waited for her to talk, and when she did, her words spoke volumes. "I mean it."

Hiei turned to face her, an unknown feeling spreading over him. "I know," he replied. "You need rest."

Botan scoffed. "I've rested enough," she complained. "I'm so bored, and lonely. Why can't I just go sit with you guys? Do you have any idea what it feels like to be left alone in some room?"

Hiei's face remained calm, but he had felt alarmed at her words. Yes, he had been alone, but he was out an about all the time. Botan sounded like she was talking from experience, and that concerned him greatly. He then sat back down on the bed and made an offer that would not only change his life forever, but turn it upside-down.

"I'll stay here with you," he told her with sincerity. "Then you won't feel alone or forgotten."

Botan just stared at him blankly as he helped her lie down and got into bed beside her. The two of them just watched each other, barely touching each other. The ferry girl could see the glow of the Jagan from beneath his headband as she felt him forcing her into a semiconscious state. As her eyes drooped shut, she heard him mutter, "Hn, like you could ever be forgotten."

* * *

A/N: Yeah, OOC, I know, but hey, I want some progression darn it XD Anyways, hope it was well worth the wait. God only knows when I'll be able to update again. Just stick with me :)


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I'm sorry I didn't respond to some of them. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this long overdue chapter.

* * *

Things had been more peaceful now that Botan was starting to regain her strength. Kurama had taken her request to heart and set up a spot where she could sit and rest outside. She was very thankful to get out of the house more. Besides, sitting outside always gave her a great view. Not only did she have a spectacular view of the garden Kurama or Yukina usually tended to, but, more recently, Hiei started training closer to the compound instead of out in the woods. She would watch him train for a few hours before Yukina would bring out lunch for the three of them.

Hiei was slowly adjusting to this new stage of his life. He had his sister present in his everyday life; he trained daily instead of wallowing in self-pity; and, most importantly, spent even more time with Botan coaxing her to rest more. Thankfully she was healing, and Kurama predicted that she would make a full recovery in a few months. That was the main reason Hiei was training. If Koenma realized she was recovering quickly, he would take her away forever, and no one would have it.

The three ate in a comfortable silence admiring the peaceful world they were living in at the moment. Yukina bid Botan and Hiei a goodbye to wash the lunch dishes. Botan and Hiei remained sitting at the table, Hiei staring out into the yard and Botan staring at him. Hiei eventually sighed and turned to face Botan.

"Is there a reason you're staring at me?" he asked her with slight irritation lacing his voice.

Botan just smiled and shook her head. "I was just remembering some things," she told him.

"What '_things_,'" he sneered. When Botan giggled, though, his neutral expression came back.

"I don't know," she said resting her hands on her knees. "I was just thinking about the past: how we met, the Dark Tournament, after...and now. So much has changed in such a short time."

"Hn, true," Hiei muttered. "I'm no longer disgusted by your presence."

Botan just smiled softly and shook her head. "Oh come on, silly," she teased. "You know you tolerated me much more than you let on back then."

Hiei just looked at her skeptically. "I was bound by my honor," he reminded her. "We were on the same side at the time."

"Hiei, did you just admit to having honor?" She smiled when he looked away. "You see, you're a better person than you think. And besides, we may have been on the same side, but technically I wasn't one the team. I was just team trainer."

"Yes, and you did an excellent job," Hiei replied with sarcasm.

"Well, I needed to make sure everyone was okay," Botan retorted softly. "Anyways, what I mean to say…I think we got along pretty well back then, don't you agree?"

"Not a chance," Hiei replied. He noticed the hurt look in Botan's eyes, but to him, that was the truth.

"Oh, okay," Botan said sadly.

"I hate it when you do that," Hiei growled.

"What?" Botan asked him, though she was now looking away from him.

He growled again, directing his attention to her. "I hate it when you try to downplay the fact that you're upset. I'm not an idiot. As for why you're upset, we get along fine now, but back then…even now I am still violent and cruel, I am still a thief and a killer. I was even worse then. How can you even think we got along?"

"Because that's when I started falling for you," she told him shocking him into silence. "After the tournament, I mean…at that crazy house."

"You mean when you bribed me to help you rescue the detective from a bunch of worthless humans," Hiei muttered in disbelief. "How?"

"I don't understand it either, to be honest," Botan started, "but when you lost your soul I was worried about you. And then when you threatened to break my wrist…I knew you didn't mean it, because you grabbed my wrist so gently. It was the first time I realized that you could be so gentle."

Hiei's mouth was slightly gaped open. He didn't really know how to respond to that. He never thought that he had given Botan any reason to "fall" for him, as she put it. Sure, in his past he had never really hurt a woman (except for Keiko who hadn't really been harmed, and maybe Ruka in the Dark Tournament for coming on to him and barring him from the fight), but he didn't expect anyone to pick up on that, especially not the ditsy ferry girl. He couldn't believe he let himself slip like that.

"Anyways, I knew when Yusuke said you'd be back that he was right," Botan continued. "You hadn't let us down before and I knew you wouldn't start. I was a little surprised to see you when we were at the cave, but that was more because Yusuke looked like he had been through quite a bit in such a short time. I don't think I ever thanked you for helping us save Human World."

"Hn," Hiei scoffed bitterly. "I don't need to be thanked. It served my own interests when a bunch of unintelligent demons were starting to flock to the city. Demons like them give us bad names. We are not brainless buffoons like the idiot, and the fact that they acted with even less intelligence than him was irritating."

"But you could have left," Botan pointed out, "but you didn't. And you were stronger too, but you didn't decide to take it out on the humans when the guys brought you back. Instead, you took it out on the video tape that would have sold for millions in Demon World. Why?"

Hiei looked away from her again, feeling uncomfortable by the conversations direction. "I didn't need it," he settled for as an explanation. "And it wasn't something that needed to be seen by anyone. One person was enough."

Botan smiled, happy to catch him in indirectly admitting his own honor. "Yes, and that is why I admire you," she told him, drawing his attention back to her. His incredulous expression nearly made her giggle, but she didn't. "You are honest, and you did the right thing. Those are qualities only a hero and warrior possess. Why can't you admit that you've changed since the first time we met? What has you believing that you are a terrible person?"

"I do not wish to discuss this, onna," Hiei growled at her. "Let it go."

"Only if you admit to me right now that you can believe you are a good person," Botan pressed.

"And what if I can't?" Hiei asked emotionlessly, "then what?"

Botan took his hand before he could even register that she moved. She laced their fingers together as a way to delay his imminent escape and said, "Then I will just have to convince you that it's true."

Before Hiei could react or ask her what she meant, Botan weekly stood up, barely able to hold herself up. Hiei moved quickly to hold her up before her legs gave out under the weight they were no longer used to. "You crazy baka!" he shouted at her. "What do you think you're doing?"

"This," she said softly. Hiei's brow quirked, before she took her hand and placed it behind his head pulling his lips to hers in a soft and gentle kiss.

Hiei's eyes widened when he felt her lips on his. He had not expected her to kiss him. He hadn't even expected her to try to stand up after being cooped up for so long. Kurama had told her and everyone else that she would have to work herself back to strength gradually, but for right now, she needed rest. Eventually, Hiei felt himself kissing her back as the kisses became more desperate and but still just as gentle. He felt Botan smile against his lips and parted them with his own exploring her as he felt his need to be with her growing seemingly out of nowhere.

He pulled away first, taken aback by his own thoughts and catching his breath. He had never felt like this before, never felt like he needed anyone in the past. But what shocked him even more was what he felt from Botan. It felt like _she _needed _him_. No one should need him, especially not like that…not emotional need. Emotions weren't even his strong point. He didn't know what to do or say, so he opted for sitting her back down on the chair and then moving back out into the courtyard to continue his training for the day. Hopefully, she wouldn't bring it up later when he brought her to bed.

Botan let him leave without saying another word to him. She knew that her kissing him would leave him confused and flustered, but she needed to show him his good heart and nature. She only hoped that he would let him as she watched him continue with his graceful movements. Later, she would not confront him, but would allow her silent message to get through to him over time. Then maybe, just maybe, they could finally be something more than what they were now.


End file.
